Thursday, December 20, 2007

The 8 Days of Nicaragua

Hola amigos y amigas!

Inspired by David Sedaris, I’d like to share with you a couple of cultural vignettes, faux paus and other tiny miracles from my week in Nicaragua!

There are no such things as street numbers in addresses in Nicaragua. Instead, directions are relative. For example, to get to my host family’s house, I gave this address—It’s by the high school, 2 blocks up and one block over. And to get to the AKF Center—“It’s near the Hotel Caesar. You know? Just keeping going on the end of that street.” The amazing thing is that the taxi drivers actually did know (once I showed them the piece of paper saying the exact same thing), and they got me there every time.

U.S. soap operas have nothing on telenovelas. Besides watching extremely political shows where the hosts were able to fit 256 words into every breath, my host mother Dona Yelba and I watched lots of dramatic tv shows. One was literally called “Those Who Hurt the Women” and involved a drunken father who beat his wife and children when they didn’t bring in enough money begging on the street, gang fights, a car accident, lots of fainting, and the eventual return of a long-lost son who rescued the family from the crazy father. Dona Yelba assured me that this all really happens in Nica, but I’m assuming it usually doesn’t all take place in half an hour. I could be wrong, though.

Besides gringa, there is also the beautiful word “chelita” or “little pale girl.” I can’t tell you how much I love being called that. Upon meeting one of my co-workers friends, I told him how I pretended not to understand Spanish whenever anyone said that to me. He replied, just wait til you come out at night with us!

Fairs are the same everywhere. We went to one in Managua Sunday night, complete with all of the same gamble-on-your-life rides. After deciding not to test our odds, we went over to listen to a live band who ended up bringing a plus-size woman on stage and bouncing the singers off of her (I’m not kidding). Then I got interviewed by a local news station, who realized I had a toddler’s vocabulary and quickly pulled the mic away.

Also, guess how many times I showered with running water during the week? I’ll give you a hint—it’s the number of Lynn Spears’ daughters who have never been pregnant before. (Side note for you celibri-whores: Lynn Spears’ book on Christian parenting has been temporarily put on hold, which is sad, because now what am I going to read in Nicaragua?)

OK, those are just a couple juicy tidbits. I can’t give everything away! Happy Holidays, Feliz Navidad, and I’ll write soon, I promise!

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